"Anger can be beneficial if you get your grievance addressed," says Knoxville, Tenn., psychologist Richard Driscoll, Ph.D. "It's harmful when you provoke the person more and they get even angrier."

Experts say that those of us with less than perfect anger-management skills (and who's perfect?) generally fall into one of four groups when we get mad. So take a deep breath, check out the type that sounds most like you -- and read on for some effective tips

The Venter

You let it all out, spewing toxic feelings like a volcano. After you've blown off steam, you feel better -- until you think about the damage you may have done.
Anger Antidote: Once the adrenaline's pumping, you have to do something to release the physical anger response — but it doesn't have to be screaming. Take a time-out, removing yourself so you can calm down, suggests W. Doyle Gentry, Ph.D., a psychologist in Lynchburg, Va., and author of Anger Management for Dummies. "Grab a Life Saver and suck on it, don't chew," he suggests. "By the time it's gone, you'll be less likely to react." He says our brains have an instinctual sucking reflex (think babies and pacifiers), so popping a piece of candy or gum can calm us down. Taking a jog, playing soothing music or soaking in a bath can also help. You'll still have to resolve the issue, but this way you'll talk about it when you're cooler, and at least you won't have made things worse.

The Pouter

You feel upset. Wronged. Wounded. Of course, you won't make a big scene, but you can't help but sulk. Frown. Brood. If the other person asks what's wrong, you say, "Nothing!" What you really want is for him or her to start talking — but it doesn't happen.
Anger Antidote: "The more you hang on to your anger, the more it hurts you, and the other person can't learn anything," says Gentry. Passive-aggressive people tend to feel they have less power in relationships and aren't used to speaking up. If there's an issue you feel you must deal with, Gentry suggests prepping yourself for talking about it by putting your feelings on paper: Take a few minutes to write it all down in a journal for a few nights. Then throw it away. This lets you recognize and become more comfortable with your feelings — and once you understand what they are, you'll be more likely to answer honestly when asked, "What's the matter?"

Next page: Are you a Blamer or an Avoider? Find out!