The Blamer

Everyone's out to get you or let you down. Why can't people just see things your way and admit they're wrong?
Anger Antidote: "Anger is a response to frustration — an expectation, realistic or not, that hasn't been met," says Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., vice chairman of psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. Think about your expectations. Are they fair? Might you be holding people to an impossible standard? Nobody's perfect — not even you! Once you accept this, you'll find it easier to be forgiving. "Try to be less serious. Lighten up, accept the other person's weaknesses, admit yours. Be willing to compromise," says Driscoll. Once you stop nit-picking, you'll probably find others more eager to please.

The Avoider

Who, me, angry? It's just that if someone upsets you, you don't want to talk; you just want to run far, far away.
Anger Antidote: First, admit you're angry. Yes, you are. "People avoid things they're afraid of," says Gentry. "But a lot of those fears are irrational." You need to get to the root of your fear. If your father hit you but your husband never has (or would), you might still fear being mad at him because of that past shadow. Or maybe you were told that nice girls don't get angry. But suppressing anger isn't healthy, says Wetzler. He advises role-playing with a pal to practice discussing feelings honestly. Let yourself let it out!