Problem: You're in mourning -- or the holidays always trigger sad memories.
Solution: Instead of trying not to think of the deceased, celebrate his or her life. Serve your mom's favorite foods, propose a toast to Dad, give a present to a needy child in memory of your brother. "Make the holiday a tribute" by honoring the memory of your loved one in a positive way, urges Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. You might even want to start new annual traditions that acknowledge the people who are no longer at the table, adds psychologist Mary Ann Troiani, author of Spontaneous Optimism. But if your loss is recent, don't kick yourself if you can't act jolly at another gathering; it's normal to need some quiet time to grieve.

Problem: You're lonely. How can you enjoy "the happiest time of the year" when the people you love are miles away?
Solution: Love the ones you're with. Pitch in with some other empty nesters, military wives or marooned students to have a potluck dinner. If possible, make contact with your loved ones by phone or e-mail. If you can't touch base, seek out the solace of a good friend. "Even a five- or ten-minute call on New Year's Eve can give you that feeling of connection that's so important," says Troiani. Having projects to complete and volunteering to get your mind off "poor, pitiful me" will also keep you from feeling too lonely. When all else fails, go on a power walk -- exercise helps alleviate blue moods.

Next page: Oh no! Here comes the family!