So you pamper your man by cooking and cleaning for him, but he complains that you never have time to spend with him? Or he always buys you little gifts, but you wish he’d compliment you instead? Chances are, you express love differently — but that doesn’t mean you can’t get what you want from each other, says Gary Chapman, Ph.D., a Winston-Salem, N.C.-based counselor, pastor and author of The Five Love Languages.

Chapman describes the need for love as a “love tank,” which is similar to a car’s gas tank. Each half of a couple operates best with a certain type of fuel, which is your primary love language. Understanding each other’s love style can keep both of your tanks full and your relationship humming along.

Answer this question...

I feel most loved by my partner when he:
A. Invites me to take a walk with him after supper.
B. Tells me how much he adores me.
C. Buys me a new sweater or a card — some token of his affection.
D. Does chores or fixes things around the house without being asked.
E. Gives me a hug and a kiss.

You may enjoy a few or all of the above, but your favorite is your primary love style, according to Chapman.

Now, find out what your style reveals

If you chose A, your love language is Quality Time.
You feel most adored when the two of you spend uninterrupted one-on-one time together, where you’re really connecting (as opposed to watching TV or paying bills). It doesn’t mean simply being in the same place at the same time, notes Chapman, but also sharing a favorite activity, having a connected conversation, even taking an overnight or weekend trip together.

If you chose B, your love language is Words of Affirmation.
You crave positive feedback, kind words, verbal support — spoken in a tender tone of voice. Nothing makes you feel more loved than hearing him say, “Honey, you are such a great mom” or “I’m so lucky to have found you.”

If you chose C, your love language is Receiving Gifts.
Gifts can be anything bought, found or made — a card counts as a gift. It’s truly the thought that counts, not the expense. If your love language is receiving gifts, it doesn’t mean you’re greedy or shallow, but rather that you respond best to physical tokens of affection — and that’s not a bad thing. After all, notes Chapman, present-giving is a sign of love in most cultures around the world.

If you chose D, your love language is Acts of Service.
All your man has to do is take out the trash or heat up the leftovers and you feel worshipped. Why? When he paints a room or brews the morning coffee, you know he’s doing it to make your life easier, which makes even the most mundane task feel like a profound expression of love.

If you chose E, your love language is Physical Touch.
Sure, you love hugs, kisses, etc. But you also appreciate holding hands, sitting close together on the sofa or even having him brush your shoulder with his hand as you pass in the hallway. For you, a back rub at the end of a long day or his taking your hand as you walk through the mall is pure heaven.