More than 20 years ago, my wife, Sharon, and I lost everything, because I was stupid and had way too much debt. It’s a story I’ve written about in books, told from the stage at hundreds of events and talked about daily on my radio show for the past 15 years.

It’s not hard to talk about it now, but the first time I told our story it was really scary. I was worried about rejection. Now, people tell me about the healing they experience after hearing my story. They tell me it gives them hope and helps them realize they aren’t the only ones who have done something stupid with money. My transparency allows people to address their own issues.

But when I first talked about it I didn’t know what to expect. There’s a lot of shame and guilt surrounding money problems. Everyone thinks they are the only failure in this land of new cars. So we spend a lot of energy trying to look like everything is perfect — so no one will know we feel like a failure.

But it’s an amazing feeling of freedom when you finally start talking about it. It’s like getting up Saturday morning and having your coffee in your pajamas — you don’t care what people think of you.

Whether you are married or single, you should find a group of people that you can talk to about money. Our Financial Peace University program includes a small accountability group that puts strangers together in this way. Some people are deeply in debt; others are debt-free. No matter where you are financially, small groups are the most powerful behavior modification tool I’ve ever seen.

Weight Watchers doesn’t sell magic food, but they do make you step on a scale every week in front of other people. That weekly event makes you think twice before picking up the tub of ice cream. If you know you’re going to discuss your budget with your accountability partners, then it’s a strong reason to stick to it. The small group provides lots of encouragement when you goof up and celebrates with you when things are going well.

You don’t have to join an organization’s group. Find friends who share your beliefs about money; talk to your family if they are supportive. Seek anyone who loves you enough to tell you when you are about to do something stupid or will be proud of you when you hit a positive milestone. Talking about where you are in your financial walk can be the first step to changing your financial situation for the better.
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Dave Ramsey’s financial advice appears every week in Quick & Simple. He is the host of the nationally syndicated radio program The Dave Ramsey Show and best-selling author of The Total Money Makeover and Financial Peace Revisited